Section 0023

     This is how it goes for Zoe.

     Meanwhile, deprived of tranquility, trying to make do with Prozac and cheap California red, I have sat down to the task I’ve postponed as long as I could. Where will it all end?
     I exited the tower and followed a path through a thick grown garden.
     And then, you pace up and down a corridor and suddenly enter a room full of light. I’d done it again. See, I have this romantic way of dressing.
     Dancers around me began splitting their heads with big earthen pots which they broke on their skulls with a sound like coconuts cracking.
     I mention these insignificant adventures in order to show how tired and empty our Sunday outings left us, and how surprised I was to hear my comrades describe the details all week long. On the other hand, one cannot suppose that a stone which is thrown upwards continues to move in virtue of some power or quality imparted to it. The resulting conflation of similarity (iteration) and difference (singularity) gives the event a temporal significance that can be realized only in narration, not in story. And certain knowledge of God’s existence depends on knowledge of my existence as a thinking subject.     

     Every one suspects himself of at least one of the cardinal virtues, and this is mine: I am one of the few honest people that I have ever known. Through excess or defect of what?


     And from this imminent Middle Age, I want to be the first to have a total comprehension of the laws of life, of death, and of the resurrection of the aesthetic, in order to be able to pronounce the word: Renaissance. I am officially quitting the monk business and am upgrading myself to the rank of mystic.

     “Just try it some time, you don’t seem to understand much about this kind of work!” Well, God give them wisdom that have it; and those that are fools, let them use their talents.